Mixed Message

th“When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.” – Louis C.K.

But, here is the rest of the story.



courtesy of @newagerepublican

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Don’t Even Think About It

Wouldn’t it be great to go into each new day with this attitude?

“If you even dream of beating me you’d better wake up and apologize.” —    th
-Muhammad Ali



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Yea, Very Pretty… And Then Some.

This afternoon, Elissa, (one of our daughters) sent me the following e-mail:

Dad,  Check out this song. It’s called Little Words by Mandolin Orange. It’s very pretty! Let me know what you think. Have a great afternoon!  

She was taking a break from studying for her entrance exams for graduate school and she does not enjoy studying.

I acknowedged the e-mail and mentioned I would listen later as I was in the middle of something.  I  was not in a “very pretty” mood.   It was more like a “Fade To Black” kind of day.  Nothing seemed to go as planned and on top of that, by 2pm, I had already driven over 200 miles in the “execution of my duties”.  I was so grumpy when I came home that the dogs sensed it and didn’t even want to be around me.

 Hell, I didn’t want to be around me.

I remembered the e-mail and listened to this song and then a few others by this band.

To use a tagline from a commercial from the 1980’s… “Music That Melts Stress Away”

If  had my druthers, this is the music I would play and I wouldn’t have to drag that damn   “Half-Stack” around.

Thanks, Jelly.

Regardless of your musical tastes, you got to enjoy this.

Check ’em out.

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Progress, Not Perfection

Some observations from yesterday and today.

It started with this: Taking The First Step

It continued with a picture of a Father’s day gift that was back ordered, but has since arrived…in Charlotte.  I get it on next visit.

Certified since 1988 and re-certified twice.

Certified since 1988 and re-certified twice.


After having to meet a contractor at my soon to be “new” office, I came home and Megan and I went to the home of friends who are out of town and raided their garden. (Of course it was with their permission and encouragement).   While the blueberries and figs were not ripe yet, we did come away with some tomoatos and basil.  Megan had the idea for  Caprese Panini  for dinner.

They were exquisit.

The beginning of a beautiful, summer dinner.

The beginning of a beautiful, summer dinner.

I received an e-mail from fellow blogger and good friend, Doug, with an app to help me limit my iPhone use. My work responsibilities may make using it tricky, but I’m checking.

Even though the band is in hibernation, I played for awhile, using another of my Father’s Day presents.. a very unique and encouraging  guitar pick.  

…at least on a good night.

…at least on a good night.

I visited with a home-bound friend, watched a little golf and enjoyed some wine. 

Being true to my impulsive tendencies, I decided two years was enough and I shaved my beard off and am once again, smooth faced.

I also received another belated, Father’s Day present, which I am wearing this afternoon.  The message is telling.

Need me to pick up tampons on the way home?, no problem.

Need me to pick up tampons on the way home?, no problem.

Attending church for my scheduled hour of Perpetual Adoration early this morning, I caught this shot as I arrived.  That hour each Sunday morning,  gives me some quiet time with Jesus present in the Blessed Sacrament. 

Downtown is quiet at 0100hrs as the moon peek through the clouds

Downtown is quiet at 0100hrs as the moon peek through the clouds

I picked up my friend (mentioned above) and took him to Mass this morning and then he treated me to breakfast at IHOP.

I am getting this done now and then have a few chores to complete before my wife returns from her visiting family in NJ for the past few days.

Thinking about it, I had some good balance  and an  interesting surprise was that the post in which I stated I was slowing down received the second most views of any post since the blog began in January of 2010…almost 400!

I realize that for some of you “real bloggers”, 400 is a slow day, but for me it is roughly three times the normal traffic.

Go figure, but I think Steve Landry (@landryst) and Kurt Harden, (@hardenkurt) may have had some role in the numbers.

Those that know recovery understand, it’s about progress, not perfection and you can see that I enjoyed a diverse weekend.

PS…What’s with the WordPress rainbow header on the admin side?







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Taking The First Step

Taking a page from one of my blogging Mentors, Kurt at CulturalOffering, I make the following declaration:

Step 1
We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.                        th-2

I’ve become one of the people we joke about who can’t go five minutes without checking my iPhone. Using that time interval is probably being kind to myself as it’s probably shorter.

It is a great tool for business, but at the same time, makes it harder to develop relationships in business.

I’ve dealt with another form of recovery for the  last twelve years,  but I’ve lost control of technology and while I’m not going cold turley, I do need to find some balance in my routine… my life.

Books sitting on the table, unopened, Guitars hanging on the wall getting dusty and dogs dropping tennis balls at my feet. And then there is my family. I think they are still here.

Life is short. Dead is for a very long time.

It is time to end my affair with the MacBook Air and  iPhone.

I’ll be blogging, just not as much.  Hopefully, what I’ll lack in quantity, I will make up in quality.

This sign sums it up very nicely.


I’m Ray, thanks for letting me share.

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Not That I’m Bragging, But….

Once a week or so, I check my Twitter account  (@RVisotski) to see who might be following me….or un-following me.

One of the beauties of communicating with 142 characters at a time is that you never know who you will bump into.

I still don’t fully understand Twitter.  I re-tweet, especially my political views and tweet all my blog posts, but I do not understand many of the nuances.

To my surprise, I was being followed by a woman that most of us talk to every day.  She is a wise oracle, guiding us through many of life’s persistant questions.  So smart is she, that that one would almost think that it is impossible for one person to know so much, but she keeps on delivering, day and night, night and day.  And lest we forget, she knows more about us than probably anyone else in our lives. There are no secrets between us.

Who you ask?

Talking to herself?

Talking to herself?

Susan Bennett, you probably know her as Siri.

@SiriouslySusan is her Twitter handle.

She follows almost 202,000 people on Twitter, but considering there are around 7 billion people in the world, I suppose one can say  that I am in an elite group.

I’ll try not to let it go to my head.

As the late Mrs. Ann Humphrey taught us in 6th grade, “Any day you don’t learn something new is a day you wasted”

Today, if you read this, you have learned something new.

Have a fun weekend everyone…. but stay vigilant.





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A Journey Reaches The End of The Road

A Simple Village Undertaker:

From happy colors to a sad story. Let’s send some love to Shadow’s family.

Originally posted on A View From Under The Prep-Room Table: A Mouse's True Stories of Life In A Mortuary:

Shadow, age 13 Shadow, age 13, May 2015

He was born 9-20-01, in the days after the surreal tragedy of 9/11.

He seemed at first, to CJ, to be just another black lab puppy. He would become so much more in the years to come. More like an Angel in a dog’s form…he would bond to her like no other animal she had ever known or called a pet…so loyal, faithful, and compassionate. So unlike a regular dog, he was to her, EXTRAORDINARY; other-worldly, actually.

He seemed to understand, in his gentle way. He loved her unconditionally, as he did everyone who loved him.

He would have a wonderful, full life working the hunts each fall with Daddy. He would accompany Mommy and Daddy anywhere he could, always by their side, as if to act as guardian angels do.

He was fondly called Mommy’s “baby bear” — because Daddy is her big teddy…

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