In From The Wilderness

In From The Wilderness

Lying there in low spirits, he also felt afraid of God, because during prayer he had fallen into helpless crying, accusing God of being a failure as a father, “You weren’t there! You are not there when we need you! You are not a Father!”

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Michael D. O’Brien

Michael enetered into utter emptiness and struggled to stay afloat mentally, but eventually came to a condition of stillness, and a quiet acceptance of his inability to make a success of his art and to be a good father.

At this depth of discouragement, he crawled out of bed with pain and effort and knelt to pray. And then he felt the gentle touch of God’s kindness:

It comes to me that my wounds concerning the the poor fatherhood I received as a child have been transferred to God. I misread existence in the light of my wounds and the result is fear. A deep and beautiful stillness as I kneel before the Shrine of The Sacred Heart in our living room. I sit by the chair and imagine God as Father sitting on it, waiting, always waiting for me. I rest my head on the chair seat, on his invisible knees. There are no words, no thoughts, no emotions, just a profound stillness and peace. It heals me. Come, the presence says, come every day and rest by me, in me. And I will set you free. *

 

From On the Edge of Infinity A Biography of Michael D. O’brien, by Clemens Cavallin.

*taken from O’Brien’s personal journal, 1982.

I supose we all have  struggles that we deal with at different stages of our lives.  As I slowly read this book, I am reminded that events that we believe to be insurmountable, are but ant hills in the lives of others. I only wish I could find and harness the faith that Mchael found.

 

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About Ray V.

Living in Aiken, South Carolina, USA, I like to share what I am looking at, thinking about or listening to. I refer to this as the view out my window. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in faith, Michael D. O'brien, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to In From The Wilderness

  1. feistyfroggy says:

    All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think everyone has their own set of “stuff” (also known as crap…issues…problems). Sometimes just making it through the day and taking that next breath is a huge act of faith.

    Liked by 1 person

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