The Future, Yesterday

The future, yesterday.  It’s not as far fetched as it may seem.

The call went like this:

– Hello! Gordon’s Pizza?
– No sir, it is Google Pizza.
– So, I have the wrong number?
– No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza.
– OK. Take my order please ..
– Well sir, you want the usual?

images– The usual? How do you know me?
– According to your caller ID, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, thick crust…
– OK! OK! That’s it.
– Sir, may I suggest to you this time ricotta cheese, arugula with sun-dried tomatoes?
– No, I hate vegetables.
– But your cholesterol is high!
– How do you know?
– Through the Lab subscriber’s guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
– Okay, but I want my regular pizza, I already take medicine.
– But sir, you have not taken your medicine regularly. Four months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network.
– I bought more from another drugstore.
– It is not showing on your credit card.
– I paid in cash.
– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.
– I have other sources of cash.
– This is not showing on your last Income-Tax return, unless you got it from an undeclared source.
–  WHAT THE HELL?  Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island  without Wi-Fi or internet. Where there are no cell phones or satellites to spy on me.
– I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport, as it has expired 5 weeks ago!

Thanks to Carla.

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About A Simple Village Undertaker

I am just a simple, village undertaker back living in Aiken, South Carolina, USA who likes to share the view out of my window.
This entry was posted in Google, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Future, Yesterday

  1. oh no, now google has flagged you as “one of those.” You’ll never be able to order pizza or renew your passport every again…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my, big brother is here!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My older brother would just tell you , “Big Brother is watching!!!!” LOL this may be truer than we know!

    Liked by 1 person

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