Broken Pencils Are Pointless . . .

. . . and 22 other puns.

•    Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!

•    How does Moses make tea?  Hebrews it.
•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.th
•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
•    I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.
•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•    I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
•    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
•    When chemists die, they barium.
•    I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
•    Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
•    I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job, because she couldn’t control her pupils?
•    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•    Broken pencils are pointless.
•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.
•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
•    I got a job at a bakery, because I kneaded dough.
•    Velcro – what a rip off!
•    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Advertisements

About A Simple Village Undertaker

I am just a simple, village undertaker back living in Aiken, South Carolina, USA who likes to share the view out of my window.
This entry was posted in Puns, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Broken Pencils Are Pointless . . .

  1. Honest K says:

    I didn’t get the broken pencils are pointless – I thought I was going to open this post to see some kind of deep thought inducing post 😀 It wasn’t until I seen’ and 22 other puns’ I realised 😀 haha!! What an idiot!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. -Eugenia says:

    I find this extremely amusing. Thanks for making my day a little brighter.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mark says:

    I shall do my best to use some of these at work 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s