…this is a little risque and she might not approve.
The story illustrates the resourcefulness of an officer of our USMC.
Semper Fi 
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself as a guest at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action”.
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself”.
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”
“1955, ma’am.”
“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean no sex since 1955!” She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times. 
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955”.
The Sergeant Major glanced at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now”.
(Gotta love military time.)
PS…I ran into the Cmdr of our local Marine Corps League this evening at a visitation, and told him the joke. He didn’t let me finish, stating it was one of the oldest ones in “the book”.
Thank you, Carla
A Simple, Village Undertaker 