Remembering Accurately

If people listened to me, (Which usually they do not), I would be famous for my recurring comments about the need to remember people accurately the way they were when they were alive. I have taken considerable criticism over the years for noting that obituaries and/or eulogies that mention that someone always looked out for others before themselves, never met a person they didn’t become friends with, never uttered a bad word about another and was the perfect parent/spouse/student really hurts more than helps, as those that know see no value in the lies.

People are not perfect when they are alive and they should not be made perfect in death. As a wise old undertaker once said, “Healthy psychology dictates meeting life’s problems head on”

I received this obituary today from a few sources and my hope is that obituaries like this are coming soon to a newspaper near you.

I will quote my boss, Peter who remarked, …I was so curious, I called the Strickland Funeral Home and inquired if there were any services and a very pleasant lady, very politely, told me, “he was cremated, so the family isn’t having any services”. Something tells me that the 809 people (as of 4:50 P.M.) who took the time to enter memories and condolences on would have appreciated a more tangible way to celebrate this life. And, while it may have been his wish, or the wish of his family … perhaps, we need to pause and consider, was it a past experience he, or his family had, that caused them to opt out this time?



Here it is, one of the most accurate obituaries ever written: William “Freddie” McCullough

More importantly, here is his online guestbook

About Ray V.

Living between Aiken & Nashville, TN, USA, I like to share what I am looking at, thinking about or listening to. I refer to this as the view out my window. Thanks for stopping by.
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1 Response to Remembering Accurately

  1. fictionfitz says:

    Like your writings; I am often in nursing homes as an interfaith chaplain, and I have begun writing about my feelings etc on Hope you try it out and thanks for your blog.


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